Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
