Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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