did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize