It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
