Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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