normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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