It's Friday. Sex?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Randomize
