dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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