I wanna passion pit in your ass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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