so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
