He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
