erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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