Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
