i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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