ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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