found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
