Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
