Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
