i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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