whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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