Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
