this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
