she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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