your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
