Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
