when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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