Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
