I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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