Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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