I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
