If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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