nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
