I just threw up on my dentist
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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