I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
