Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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