did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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