Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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