why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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