you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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