Just mADE A PArabola og urine
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
