You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
