How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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