So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
