I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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