I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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