If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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