I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
