i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
