real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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