Porn is love you can see.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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