Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
