Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
