wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
