Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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