I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
