Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
