I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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