just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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