Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
