I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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