btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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